Losing the Award: Lady Gaga Promise Leadership

Lady Gaga has just helped me see that even in losing, we can still win. 

Did you see what she did at the Grammys while not on stage?  Her actions weren’t highlighted enough for such graciousness, even in defeat, but needs to be acknowledged here.

What did she do?  Read on.


But first – a Rant!

Scrolling social media, you may see the jump in success of those all around you and feel like you’re being left in the dust.  As you lose the opportunities that perhaps could have been yours, seeing awards going to even your peers turned competitors, the choice is yours in response.

In the last 2 weeks I have had more requests to come and speak than we’ve seen come through in 2 years.  Some have confirmed and it is a beacon of hope in what has been a most challenging pandemic for the Hewlett family.  I hope you’re receiving some of the benefits as well!

Yet most events come down to the wire, as I go head-to-head with a peer/worthy opponent for that final sacred slot on the conference agenda…and I’m passed over for various reasons I’ve not experienced in 2 decades of being in this profession.

I am often stunned after so much work goes into simply coming up short.  We ask what were the determining factors and rarely get a response.  And then we press on.


Lady Gaga taught me graciousness in defeat by something very simple she did at the Grammys this past Sunday that is important to note.

She was up for Best Pop Duo/Group Performance alongside the legend, Tony Bennett, with the award going to SZA and Doja Cat instead.

As SZA was on crutches, with a long flowing dress and accompanying train, she began to struggle maneuvering her way to the stage.

Passing by Lady Gaga, whom SZA had just defeated, as Gaga gave her a standing ovation, she also noticed the dress having its own issues.

Gently bending down, woman helping woman, peer to peer respect, as any rock star would, Lady Gaga picked up the train of the dress, and carried it behind SZA as she ascended the steps.

You only need to watch the first 10 seconds of this NSFWOC (Not Safe For Work Or Church) video to see what Lady Gaga did –



If you noticed in the paragraph before, I said “as any rock star would”.  Sometimes sarcasm is lost in writing, I hope that line wasn’t lost on you, but just note, SZA passed by plenty of human beings who just watched and clapped and sat back.

Lady Gaga is my new graciousness in defeat example, her new Signature Move in my eyes, and I love her all the more.

The grace of an Academy Award, Golden Globes, and multi-Grammy Award-Winning Legend such as Lady Gaga, to be so thoughtful in this moment of losing the award is beautiful to witness and the essence of Promise Leadership.

“How can I be like Lady Gaga” is not a question I’ve had pass my mind in any moment before, but now it is.

As social media continues to fill up with the accomplishments and wins of those we may admire, despise, or feel apathetic towards, we must ask ourselves:

In what ways can we keep the promise to show graciousness, kindness, thoughtfulness, and still triumph even as we stand and applaud in defeat?  

Take out your earbuds, put down the blinders, give a thumbs up, leave a comment, post a favorable review, send some encouragement, even give a smile to the one we may have lost to, and look outside ourselves ~ glance around!  Notice the opportunities to serve, lift, and assist every chance possible, as that is the greater way to live and how we find victory even when we have lost the award.

I Promise to do that all the more, thanks to Lady Gaga.


~ Jason Hewlett 

Husband, Father, Writer, Mentor, Hiker

  • Speaker Hall of Fame * Award-Winning Entertainer * Promise Legacy Project Coach
  • World’s Only Keynote Speaker utilizing entertainment, musical impressions, and comedy to Create Legendary Leadership through the Power of Commitment
  • Author of “The Promise To The One”


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14 thoughts on “Losing the Award: Lady Gaga Promise Leadership”

    1. Louise! I so appreciate you always being there and reading/commenting. It is a conscious choice no doubt, and you do this in your efforts as well my friend!

  1. Jason, The following quote by you, “and look outside ourselves and glance around! Notice the opportunities to serve, lift, and assist every chance possible, as that is the greater way to live and how we find victory even when we have lost the award”- is what I need to do more of. Thank you for these insights to keep the promise to ourselves

    1. David! Wonderful to hear from you and thank you for highlighting that line. I am working on it as well, and I see you do it naturally already, my friend. Thank you for the work you’re doing to help others become More Than Healthy.

  2. This is a great thought. I feel like this type of graciousness must be consciously worked on before it becomes natural. Thanks for highlighting this so I can work on this attribute as well.

    1. Quinn~! You are so right. It is a skill, a conscious effort to become this way. Great thoughts and thank you for the comment my friend. You certainly already do it well!

  3. Thank you for this Jason. I am not into Hollywood in my aging years and rarely watch TV or movies. Too busy reading. LOL. I haven’t watched award shows for over a decade and I listen to beautiful music but not the music of this age. You have given me a gift that I would have missed and I appreciate it. Lady Gaga has never been on my radar but I was so impressed by this. No tears, just goodness. What a wonderful thing. She has risen by leaps and bounds in my estimation. Thank you again for sharing this beautiful image.

    1. I’m with you my friend…I found this from another share by a friend. And it lifted my spirits to see a superstar do something so subtle yet, now, legendary. She lives the Promise, in her own way, as do you!

  4. I show kindness by celebrating other’s successes, and I feel that doing so spreads good to the world. As a child, my mom taught us to be kind to others even if they have not been kind to us because we could be role models for others to follow.

    Yes, Lady Gaga definitely showed kindness and grace, and it was a beautiful gesture.

  5. I never watch any of these award shows. When you first posted this, I wasn’t interested, assuming it was just click-bait to see what shenanigans a pop star was up to. Glad I clicked thru when I saw it again, should have had more faith in you and the Promise.
    The lesson that stuck with me from this simple but memorable act was how easy it can be to be kind, we just have to be attentive to the opportunity to act, not stop to think about it and just do what we can, when we can. OK, it’s simple but maybe not always easy. Thanks for another great reminder of how we can all be better people.

    1. I appreciate many things you’ve said here. And yes, it feels like click-bait certainly. I have found that tactic is often necessary, in many ways, to teach something, even when click-bait feels slimy. I too don’t watch awards shows either, as this was shared with me from another friend whom I trust as well. It is powerful to see those in a place of position doing something that we can all learn positive things from. Thank you Tom for your thoughts and comment.

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