The Promise of The Father

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads, father figures, and men who make a difference in a young person’s life.

We as a family are currently in the throes of major phases of youth becoming adults:

• Redford is serving a 2-year full-time mission in Santa Fe, Argentina, 10 months in
• Romney is leaving for his mission to Antigua, Guatemala in August
• Ella is leaving on her mission to Limatambo, Peru in October
• Royal is 14 and wondering what happened to his family as he knows it

This has been a most spectacular time of our lives, and nothing could have prepared us for the opportunity to have 3 kids all serving our Heavenly Father at the same time, while all learning Spanish and living in other countries.

We won’t be in the same place as a whole family one time between August 21, 2025 and September 2, 2028. That is sobering to think about, and yet, we wouldn’t want them to be anywhere else or doing anything different.

We are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and yes, we live in Utah.

With the name of Jesus Christ on their name tags, it is an extraordinary time to be a parent observing their lives from afar, fondly remembering the important mission service we did as young adults: Tami served in Tegucigalpa, Honduras, and I served in Florianopolis, Brazil.

As I begin to figure out how to be a Dad of kids in other time zones and different countries, we equally have a great challenge in our midst: a boy who is our youngest and doesn’t have the physical presence & support group of his siblings, like they all had together, and have now left the home.

We had 4 kids in 5 years, but the first 3 showed up in 26 months. Royal arrived when Ella, our oldest, was about to turn 6. Diapers, binkies, runny noses and naked babies ruled our lives for years.

It’s a unique time now, as we have been used to raising 4 at once, and now there remains one.

If you’ve heard me speak, you maybe caught this line I’ve been known to share:

“I had set a goal to be a better Dad, but it wasn’t until I made a Promise to be the kind of Dad that any kid would want to have that everything changed.” 

It feels like a second chance to make that Promise, to be the kind of Dad any kid would want to have.

Candidly, I am not sure how good I am at this portion of my fatherhood. I’m trying, I’m adjusting, and I’m learning.

Equally, trying to be a Dad over Zoom calls with our missionaries, writing them weekly with encouraging and uplifting thoughts, all of it has been an overwhelming shift from managing the baby raptors in the RV, to now them preaching around the world.

The Promise of the Dad is to be fully present in our children’s lives.

To listen more than we speak, even if we are a professional speaker.

To ask how they are feeling, doing, and arming them with the tools to succeed at their passions, deal with their emotions, and find the best friend group.

To ground them in hard work, uplift them in aspirational mindsets, teach them faith and remind them that as much as we love our children as parents, there’s a Father upstairs who loves them even more and wants to hear from them.

The Promise of The Father is to teach our children prayer, the love of learning, to fail frequently in order to succeed, to ICM (Identify, Clarify & Magnify) our gifts, and to love one another.

Being a Dad is the greatest blessing of my life.

I’m still trying to figure out how to do it well.

I am grateful, this Father’s Day, for my own Father, John Hewlett, my Father-in-Law, Bob Staley, my Grandpa Lester Hewlett & Grandpa Vernon Redford who went before, and the many Father Figures who made all the difference along the way.

Happy Father’s Day.